The inherent power of a person, or collection of people, is best understood by paying close attention to the type and amount of energy that is put into their suppression. By and large, the authoritative structures of human history have succeeded in collectively preventing women from accessing the same degrees of prominence, leadership, safety, or freedom that men in their respective societies enjoy. In varying degrees, the potential for women and girls to have agency over our bodies and minds is simply not there.
The grotesque beauty in this, however, is how the absence of equality brews a raucous and insane energy inside communities who are on the receiving end of prejudice. It almost seems as if we are given a reservoir of stamina to burn, one to power us while we try to make reparations throughout our lives for the social inequalities that are buried in the human and animal world. Darkly, this potent storm can often manifest itself, similarly to other energy stores in young humans, in menacing and destructive ways that may take us years to identify and channel. The hatred of other women, sexual promiscuity for the sole sake of receiving positive male validation, and other similar issues, can stem from the aggregate institutional memory of female inequity throughout history. Although many girls and women may not be consciously aware of their membership within this emotional belonging, we are all part of it, we all suffer and blossom from it, forever, in orbs, in eternity.
My own experience attempting to understand my place in the world has brought me to a conclusion which seems utterly simplistic in its intentions, and somewhat repetitive as well. But it’s this, the realization is this:
Besides anything pretty unrealistic, like a revolutionary update in worldwide policy, or massive brainwashing, the most widely accessible, and immediate solution to inequality is to realize that The othering of girls and those who identify in any capacity with them, by girls, is the number one enemy of true permanent feminism.
It dawned on me that I wanted to change the parameters of my non-relationships with 3 or so people who had existed as vague, confusing enemies for a long time. They were to me, or I was to them, an ex of someone they/we had been involved with. The way I encountered them was unpleasant, but not only that, I felt that the way we related to each other (or didn’t) was old, useless, and unfamiliar. Once the boring illusion of them as malicious evil vixens faded away, I felt that we were in a place in human social history where the parameters of those relationships needed to change. If you haven’t caught on yet, the discussion is turning to the expository and exquisite nature of betrayal and love, but mostly about exes, so like, buckle up.
As a young teenager I took the approach to being a girl called ‘try to camouflage yourself so far into gender obscurity that it will disallow inclusion in anti-feminist rhetoric’. It worked for awhile. But I started to feel guilty and I unconsciously resented those who were brave enough to speak out about female issues. I didn’t want to engage, I couldn’t handle it. Somewhere, something cracked in me. I realized that people have the power to change the cycle of female othering. It is a poor, neglectful, and lazy manner in which to treat the people of the world and the mothers of children. It was about preventing men from standing in the way of powerful electric people working with one another, and falling in love with femininity freely, without shame. In the same manner as people ought not be strung up for either their liberal or guarded sexual histories, they should also have the chance not to be for their emotional engagements. The concept that I had the ability to redefine how I wanted to relate to these people with no thought given to the men who brought us together gave me agency over my sexual and emotional history. It allowed me to not have to suffer the socially imposed shame that girls are sentenced to for dating and existing in social realms.
Decisiveness is energizing, it allows us to be powerful and happy. The simple holiness of approaching these smart, divine, radiant women, or allowing them to approach me did not feel real at first. It felt forced and small in the shadows of everything we have to fight for. But like anything which is weighty and impactful in the long run, the sheer realization that I had the opportunity to choose love instead of sadness and isolation was something to behold. This seemingly small action allowed new connections to be made, new appreciation and joy to be shared. The decisiveness opened up the sky, I felt weightless. We have to ability to remove from any equation people who make needless enemies of one another. We were the agents of the problems, and we were also the agents of change. A new atmosphere of togetherness and loyalty to womanhood was born. These people are influential, dancing, forces of the universe. You know who you are.
What a world where small movements of intent and consciousness regarding amorousness can open up a mind space of creation and fellowship, especially when that very space was so recently occupied by indignation. Who knows what we could do if the blockades of female perpetuated vilification and scandal, created by the very establishment that punishes us for being women are purposely forced down? That question in and of itself is power. We have a choice in that, and that, is very, very big.